18. separating with my sweetheart once we comprise both on our menstruation.

18. separating with my sweetheart once we comprise both on our menstruation.

Don’t make any sudden decisions when you are both bleeding.

19. becoming extremely jealous and possessive toward my girl any time another mascara lesbian/femme means registered the area.

In case the girl could flirt, she’s going to flirt. Performing like a deranged, hyper-jealous mind circumstances is not planning to end anybody from carrying out anything. In reality, it’s going to best worsen the woman want.

20. Flirting with women cops, TSA representatives, security guards, as well as other feamales in consistent because we presumed they certainly were homosexual.

We lust after a lady in a consistent, but sadly only a few feamales in uniforms lust after me.


I like those long, pointy Lana Del Rey nails. However, my ex-girlfriend couldn’t value all of them while I attempted entrance with those intense talons.

Oh, the sacrifices us trends lezzies must alllow for gender! The good news is sexual climaxes feel better than acrylic nails taste.

22. Faking a climax.

You could be able to fake orgasms with males, nevertheless can’t fool your own gender, honey. Discovered that one the hard method.

23. Unprotected sex, because, you know, “lesbians can’t see STIs.”

I’m surprised I caused it to be out-of my slutty phase (I state “slut” in a motivated way! Don’t concern!) without getting every STI under the sun.

I didn’t have any idea exactly what a dental care dam ended up being when I had been 21. I thought it absolutely was one thing they caught in your throat in the dentist. And that I dislike the dentist.

24. Playing inside “helpless femme” stereotype.

Just because community associates femininity with weakness does not suggest i need to have fun with the part. Screw that. We don heaps of makeup, look wonderful in pale pink, and will save my self from almost any problem.

25. dropping crazy while squandered at lesbian activities.

“Owen, I’m in love” we once slurred to my best friend during the now-defunct Williamsburg gay bar “Sugarland.” The second early morning we woke with my cardiovascular system pounding and my personal lips as dry while the Sahara wilderness.

I became instantly inundated with humiliating recollections of pronouncing my personal love to a lady whose term or face I could not remember. For the following season, we stayed in incessant fear of operating into this female again.


26. Calling my personal girlfriend my ex-girlfriend’s identity.

Though i did so come across a great way to step out of this. If you call the girl your own ex-girlfriend’s term, only repeat the following:

“Oh girl, I’m Hence sorry. I known as your the girl name because We associate the lady with tension and I’m stressed at this time! You never worry me personally completely, which is the reason why it seems overseas to say your own gorgeous term while I think pressured.” Works magically.

“Only a lesbian could contemplate that,” my buddy Kevin considered me while I try these out advised your how I had gotten out of contacting my girlfriend unsuitable term. He’s maybe not completely wrong.

27. wondering I got a “type.”

We regularly think I appreciated ladies with short-hair who were taller than myself. Now I realize I don’t discriminate.

Butch, femme, stalk, high, brief — i prefer a myriad of lesbians (because the French will say, lesbiennes). Purr.

28. Playing hard to get.

I accustomed thought easily blew off a romantic date or didn’t text the lady I lusted over right back, she would anything like me a lot more. However realized that that video game doesn’t make use of female (about perhaps not confident, mentally-stable ladies). It really produces the woman believe you’re a manipulative small twerp, and she doesn’t have enough time for the, OK?

29. sliding up-and advising a woman on the very first Tinder time I got already considered the girl Instagram.

“Oh, yeah, your pet, Fred! He’s soooo sexy.”

“How what are We have a pet known as Fred?”

Crickets. Crickets. And much more crickets.

30. Thinking initial girl we actually ever dated had been the love of my life and that would we never get over the girl.

The very first lesbian cut may be the strongest, but we hope your, my heartbroken kids lesbians, you’re maybe not likely to find yourself with initial lady you date. In reality, you really need ton’t end up with the most important female you date. Your emotions are too regarding strike, the stakes are too high. Plus, so that you can know very well what you truly fancy, you need to get within and go out as many different girls as you can.

Therefore dried out those rips, babe. You’ll overcome her. We big-sister-lesbian hope.